Dark Pools

I looked into my saddened eyes
And saw deep dark pools overflowing.
The river of tears ran uncontrolled
Down the my stained cheeks
As I tried to catch them as they fell.

The sorrows of yesteryear rush
Through my thoughts and consume
My shattered heart, broken by loss
Of my loved one, no longer at my side.
Oh how I wish I could turn back time...

Emptiness fills my soul yet it hungers
For the love we shared and closely held.
To be in your arms again would bring peace.
But nay, it is but a dream a longing wish -
One day my love I'll shed tears of joy...

Until time passes by and my years tick
Down its allowed clock and gain passage
To the other side, I wait, I ponder all
Our memories we made in so short a time.
My heart quickens all a flutter with hope.

Poems My Way -Valrie 09/29/2016

Life Happens

Good Morning,

So many trials have come and gone in the last year. Losing the love of my life was the last thing I expected. My dear sweet husband was laid to rest on January 28th, 2015.The three months between his death, memorial and burial nearly had me joining him. Military burials are wonderful but you have absolutely no control over the time you wait. I gave my sweetheart the best funeral I could muster up. He was a highly decorated  retired Veteran, a Major in the  Army during the Vietnam War. Mark came into my life unexpectedly and God claimed him 5 days before our third wedding anniversary.

We were still on our honeymoon if you ask me. The last 10 months of his life were so difficult. He was a proud man and would not go to a doctor. I resigned my position at DCPS, and became his primary caregiver where he had been mine. How fast I shifted gears. The months he suffered I too was suffering but had no means of letting his family know as he had sworn me to secrecy even from my own children. This turmoil built up in me and was consuming me. I had collapsed after he died,
 fractured left foot and left rib,  moved to North Carolina, a T-11 compression fracture, just had surgery last Thursday, and still trying to get spousal widow benefits. It's been 6 months and good old social security is still dragging their feet.

But let's celebrate a better day! It is PINK SATURDAY over at  How Sweet The Sound.

Shattered Dreams

Often when I am troubled I turn to my blog and my poetic muse to work though life's complexities. Today I am very lonely and missing Mark with all my heart. This my love is for you!

Shattered Dreams

Oh 'tis the hours before the dawn

That are the hardest on my heart...

I lay awake and talk to the shadow

Of the woman I once was...

Only now she lays on a shelf

Collecting dust or drowns

Herself deep in the pool

Of her own salty tears -

And shattered, a broken mirror

Lays idle reflecting  on yesteryear.

Dreams we made, some we shared

Others never to come to be, alone

I must sit and ponder to eternity,

For no other man could reach my soul -

I, your mate until the end of time!

No matter how hard one might tug

At my heart strings they belong

Only to you my love, 'tis you I hold -

Locked within my heart to whom

Only I bear my soul... shed my tears...

The muse escapes me days on end

Without you here or near.

I battle bouts of depression -

Anxiety rises to dangerous peaks,

And the mountain's cliff beckons...

Not time though, not desperate enough!

Content I'll hold on to our memories,

None more precious than our first kiss -

Our first dance of love through the night;

Endless romancing, once sparks, now embers...

Dreams at times consume me day or night,

And I hold you, caress away your pain,

Your worries set aside, I, your wife abide.

My Faith in God and Thee, for all eternity

I shall hold you close and never let you go.

My white knight, you rescued me, loved me -

Held me in your arms and sang our love song...

Anon yonder the morning dove warbles.

Sweet melodies warm the heart of his love,

Like an angel sent to me from above...

Shattered shards of broken glass strewn 

Across the floor, I drop to my knees

And hold back the misty tear eyed dew

That dances on my lashes, and flows

Like a river, tumbling down my cheeks

And wets my lips as if you kissed me...

I but the shallow remains of the beauty you beheld...

I care not to look within  the looking glass -

'Tis broken and no remedy known to mankind

Will repair this broken shattered heart - I can only dream.

Poems My Way - Valrie 04/13/2015

All rights reserved

 Have a great day!

Time to get to work!

Heavenly Angels  Watching Over Me!!!

A long time past...St Valentine's To The Loves of My Life...

Where do I start? I posted that Mark passed away 10/10/214 at 3:03PM and I guided him to OUR Lord and Savior His soul soared through the opened windows and was guided by my voice to the white lights which are Heaven's Angels' glow drawing Mark ever nearer  and closer God to Thee. He serves God's Army now.

Here is one of My Tribute poems to The Love of My Life...

Life is Love

Life is all about LOVE...
Lead a purpose driven life
To find what drives you...
What is your passion?
Who ignites the flames of your heart?
Who sets your soul and heart on fire?
He, she or it should drive your inner being -
It drives the passion locked within your heart.
Its beats are the rhythm of your life -
You rise and shine each day, you end
With the passionate soul on your mind...
He or she must be the one who drives
Your desires, assists you and allows you
To dare to DREAM passionately!
Equally so, he is the one who also guides
You closer and nearer drawn to God.
Spiritually he  is your guide,  the helm of your Faith!
He loves you as himself, as his neighbor and as he loves His God...
The best expression of love is the time you spend with someone,
The quality of the time, the tender moments, perhaps mere seconds,
Yet these memories dance within your heart and soul eternally.
The time spent doing what each other likes to do, even if you
Would rather be doing something else, is not a sacrifice...
It is an intentional expression of the love that burns within your hearts -
Never forgotten, locked deep within and always a memory in time, alive!
Express your love daily to your beloved, for there is no guarantee
Of a tomorrow, today is the only true cash and love deposit in your love bank of life!
Spend your time wisely, yesterday is a cancelled check,
Tomorrow, only a promissory note, make the choice intentional to be there!
LOVE transcends all times into eternity, perhaps a different form ethereal, but real!
Balance your life and your time spent with those you love, too much in one area
Nullifies the importance one should emulate for family, husband, wife,
Significant others, parents, children, grandchildren, friends and love of GOD!
Spending time with each is the greatest gift you have to give an expression of true love!
Lead a Godly life and encourage your loved ones to also...divinity equals eternity -
Unto yours and God's purpose, grow your garden and tend it well.
Nurture your Love of your life, your passion within, your garden, your fruit of your loins...
To attend with passion and intentional time is to illustrate the depth of your love -
Genuine, sincere, and real...lay down a path in The Garden of Love that leads
You and your loved ones to the Life Eternal, without nurturing, what garden grows?
Each day your love deepens, solidifies and holds fast to the heart and soul of your beloved...
Instill this in the fruit you bear, attend to them as God would have you build a Kingdom
Filled with Love of Life, family, self and of course Love of God and humanity.
Without intentional time invested, your love nor garden and purpose in LIFE
Will not grow, rather the embers die out and dissipate, forlorn and forgotten...
Never, were you my Love of my life, stingy with your time with me, your desire for more
Time with your children went unheard, and broken-hearted it consumed you, my Love
You bare no blame or fault, their choices are their own...in our hearts we know you loved
Greatly and deeply those dear, and tenderly held in the clasps of your strong arms.
I many a night laid and  cried with you, for blessings and healing from above..
You are healed now and once again whole.. you are an ANGEL in GOD'S ARMY...
Your legacy lives on, in my heart and my soul and my memories, you will be alive
Eternally with God and with me, and the day I join you and God...
Will be a glorious reunion of souls, sister and brother in Christ stewards and leaders...
I pour out my heart to you my LOVE, Mark Angel,  my heart remains open only to you...
With the gift of pure true and one and only Love of My Life, you shared a dream with me..
I will live on filled with your  love and the purpose of that dream...freely I choose...
You fulfiledl the destiny God holds and bestows upon me...I am a prayer warrior.
I am  charged with the task of bearing the cross laid down in life for me and shall
Gladly pick it up and carry it unto my day of reckoning and deliverance to God!
Each of us is blessed with a God-given talent, and gifts in our lives to utilize...
You were such a gift to me from God, you nurtured me in my time of need my
Sweet WHITE NIGHT and now guardian Mark Angel, I shall continue to live on...
I will spread my wings and fly, and dare to dream big dreams and go where God
Guides me, strengthened by the knowledge that I was and am still loved, by you
And by God. My destiny awaits, you are there, once here and always with me,
I draw from you the courage, the will to fight each day to breathe, to push on,
To prove I am worthy of being loved, of use to many, all they need is to ask -
To see me as the woman you saw in me, happy, joyful, spunky, determined
Passionate about life and love, forgiving, and caring, driven by destiny!
I will become the tool of Christ, tend His garden well and build His Kingdom.
I live filled with the memories you gave me of what it feels like to be loved
Unconditionally, in little ways and gentle tender moments, intimate with just a gleam
Or smile on your face... to you, My Love of My Life, I dedicate this poem.
Happy First St. Valentine's Day in Heaven...To Mark Angel, The Love of My Life!

Poems My Way - Valrie 02/14/2015

I love you, now, yesterday, tomorrow and forever! Happy St. Valentine's Day I hope the tulips arrived today To The Love Of My Life....Valrie Verhoeven Hefty 02/14/2105

SUNSHINE In YOUR LIFE

Good Morning friends!

Today I am writing about the sunshine in my life. what brings me joy and rays of hope and brightens my day... please join me and share your sunshine in my comments!

Sunshine

Sunshine always warms my heart with gladness
Its rays extend beyond the surface of its warmth
Brilliantly with its bold and blazen strength
My life is filled with happiness because of sunshine.

Sunshine comes in many warming ways...
It awakens the still and quiet morning soul
And fills an empty cup of life with hope
Bringing new life through faith, love, and hope!

Sunshine rests upon you when you least expect it to...
Today I am thankful the Lord has blessed me even
Though in sadness with the loss of my husband
I am filled with Rays of hope from God's rays... of sunshine!


Poems My Way - Valrie 11/03/2014

Life Changes

Technically it is no longer Sunday but I am a night owl lately and I guess it really is Monday 11/3/2014.  Had a very busy day today down in Wilmington, NC! Daylight savings time always messes my system up more than it already is on its own accord. I was up at 4AM and that was that so was my cat Carmel. Found a Methodist Church and went to it, am so glad I did! Today was the first day since Mark died that I did not feel all alone and abandoned without hope. It was All Saints Day too and that brought tears to my eyes as of course Mark's passing away on 10/10/14 meant he became one of the saints for whom the bell was tolled. In addition it was also the 100th year Centennial and many celebrations took place. I went to Sunday school and met many new friends who then had me join them for the 11AM service. After that, there was a luncheon and so I ended up being invited to that as well and before I knew it it was 2PM and I was to be at my son's by 3PM! I made it without a minute to spare. I saw my adorable twin grand babies for the first time since April! Wow how much they have changed. Of course they are walking and running and into all sorts of mischief keeping their parents really busy. It was the best day ever seeing them and say son and his beautiful wife Laura. My nephew was there too so it was a small family reunion. Being a grandma is still rather new to me.... But I love it! the twins turned  1 this past July 29th but with Mark being so I'll we were jot able to make it down for their birthday! So this was only the fifth time I had seen my twinkles! I am so looking forward to moving here and being closer and more a part of their lives! I have several properties to visit later today and will hopefully sign a lease and be mived down from Alexandria VA by Thanksgiving, that is the plan and hope android fervent prayer! Well I best try to sleep some as today is almost here in another four hours it will be time to wake up and start the day! Good night and God Bless!

Valrie

Each day is harder than the one before...

What a day I had. Woke up at 3:30 AM, day started at 4:30 PM. Wrote the obituary for my husband Mark. Yesterday was our third wedding anniversary. Instead of planning a wedding anniversary celebration I spent most of the day making funeral arrangements for next week. And straightening out finances...what a shock. Ladies take charge and make your husbands and SO give you all the data to help you in the event of their unexpected demise!

I had to be seen on an emergency basis my neuro and chronic pain doctor. They sent me to Reston, VA instead of where I normally go in Centreville VA. 37 miles = 1 hour and 15 minutes. @0 shots later into my spine back and buttocks, I then drove back 40 miles to the funeral parlor to sign the contract for my husband's burial. He actually will not be buried at Arlington National Cemetery for months to come, and the funeral parlor keeps the body in cold storage. Mark will be having a full military funeral with honor guards, caissons (spelling)and gun salute. He is a highly decorated veteran retired Major from the Army having served 20 years with 2 tours of duty in S. Korea.  Then I headed back over to Ft. Belvoir to get the remaining medals and pins and honor awards and the beret. A Casualty Affairs officer will be out on Monday to have full inspection of the proper dress and placement of medals. etc., to validate that military protocol was adhered to...All said and told the dress blues uniform and all the decorative medals and honors and ribbons he earned and the actual uniform and undergarments came to a whopping big $600.00. He earned every penny of it too. I am honored that I have the money saved for a rainy day as this whole ordeal has been entirely unexpected. Then I went to BBT and surrendered his vehicle as I cannot afford to keep both. Then back to the funeral home to give them t he remainder of the ribbons awards, clips, bars and beret for preparation. Onto the grocery store and bought some real food to cook not fast food garbage! Spaghetti marinara with turkey meatballs and fettuccini noodles and  garlic butter and parsley dusting. Yummy.

Spent the night organizing more financial papers, planning out the week ahead and paying what bills I can. Dealing with Mark's ex-wife is a nightmare. She will not back down and get off my case. Not going there tonight... I will get too anxious and suffer a panic. Tomorrow I go to the florist, purchase them and then head out to Manassas to the storage unit and gut it with all I do not want or need to take to NC when I move (hope to by Thanksgiving)!

Best try and get some rest as the 6AM bell will ring in just over 6 hours.

Tried to add graphics but for some reason that link is not working here for me!

Take care, love your brothers and sisters, tell them often and cherish each moment with your parents as well.


Hugs and Kisses,

Valrie~

 

I have not posted it what seems like an eternity. My life has been absolutely turned upside down since 9/30/2013. In addition to all my own injuries from the near fatal accident I was in, my husband became gravely ill. On 09/30/2014 I finally got him to a hospital, but all for naught. He was in chronic liver failure and kidney failure. Soon afterwards the toxins went to his brain.  With a heavy heart and great sadness for his gallant struggle he held on until this past Friday. On 10/10/2014 at 3:03 PM my loving husband of just shy of 3 years was called home to our Lord and Savior. Heaven has a new angel. I was at his bedside in hospice; his last 31 hours were horrific, unbearable to watch his  physical pain and suffering. Yet my Mark held on, I then clasped his hands in prayer for him and placed mine over his, said the Lord's prayer and told him it is now time to go with the angels as they were here waiting to help him ascend. He opened his eyes ( had not done this for three days) looked at me and a gentle smile and inner peace came over his spirit and went to his home with God.

I will post soon poems I am working on for his funeral. Praise God his suffering is over and that he is now with God's army doing his work from Heaven.

Please lift me up in prayer. I am in need of medical healing for my heart and my spinal nerve damage is worsened by trying to lift an help my hubby. Financial woes as well; yet hopefully the life insurance will quickly be settled. I loved him with all of my heart and soul. I miss my soul mate. Tears flow in both joy that his suffering has ended but ones of sorrow in that I shall never hear that gentle voice or sweet touch, the hugs and kisses each night when going to bed and waking up to get them all over again. He always treated me like a queen and took very good care of me. This Wednesday, 10/15/2014 will be our 3rd wedding anniversary. Instead of celebrating our anniversary I will be in the midst of planning his funeral.

I look forward to nurturing my friendships through my blog for I have missed all of my followers.

Make it a blessed day, call your loved ones far away and tell them you love them. Each day we live is a gift from God.

 

 

Our honeymoon in National Harbor...

 

 

Our first date night out...

Our wedding day 10/15/2011

 

 

 

Please pray for Mark's soul. He was a born again Christian and had a strong personal relationship with our Lord. His parents, Jean (88) Harley (93), his brother Mike, his 3 daughters, Faith, Soleil and Autumn , and my own two children Jenni and Joey Hranek.

Celebrating Life Changes!

Such a beautiful presentation don't you agree...simply divine for a garden tea party, now to figure out how to make the teapot!

I took advantage of tax free weekend last week for those back to school supplies! And of course updating our wardrobes! I had a tax free weekend shopping spree and  got over $500 worth of books from the Salvation Army, for only $54. Amazing what people just give away... And then I hit the designer suit racks and added 2new suits, 2 new jackets and a 100% genuine leather portfolio briefcase for a computer, but it looks like a tote purse! Spent a grand total there of $49, net retail worth over $750... and donated to a Christian cause. Fashionista in me just won't go away!

 I start back to Argosy August 29th, 2013! EWWWW! I am  not looking forward to studying statistics again and my mixed methods dissertation....Lift me up in prayers as well to be able to manage and withstand the physical demands on my body.. I am a bit scared, as I have been on SS DBL for over a year now and am not sure how my body will react to the huge demand this career will have on me... I turn it over to God and I know He will sustain me. Have a blessed weekend!

AMAZING and AWESOME is OUR GOD! Last week, on Thursday I went on 2 interviews with DCPS and was extended an offer on the second interview and I am now the Reading Specialist and Staff Developer and member of ALT (Academic Leadership Team) at my high school, Phelps ACE SHS in NE DC. ACE(Architecture, Computer Technology & Engineering) is a magnet program wherein all students must have a minimum GPA of 2.5 for entry and maintain it. we service about 400 students who compete for the spots for enrollment with the entire DCPS district.

It is a brand new facility and absolutely gorgeous. Highly educated instructors and mentors. I am so blessed to have been brought on board the team there! I attended my first professional staff development and conference for DCPS on Wednesday and Friday a year long planning meeting with my Principal. Our theme will be Literacy is Our Legacy! A strong literacy focus across the content areas is being implemented and integrated in all grades and classrooms.

Many professional workshop days ahead in the next 2 weeks before students start back on the 26th. Where did our summer go? Saturday I had On Board training for New Hires, and this Wednesday & Thursday will be attending  a 2 day workshop on district protocol and expectations for New Hires Teacher Trainings.

SO excited with how God has worked miracles in my life. Amazing how He can heal a broken heart, restore Faith and Hope ending in Joy with the Holy Spirit. As I walk in my Faith with the Lord, I give thanks and Glory to Him. All good things come to those who wait on the Lord's time and act accordingly to His will and behold the promises of His Kingdom.

 

 

 

God's Promise to a Broken Heart

When I had fallen with a broken heart,
It was God's way to give e a new start.
When I no longer could withstand the pain,
And shed tears like the falling rain ~
God sheltered me from my sorrows
With the promise of brand new tomorrows.
Within the walls of an empty heart confined
Laid my despair, worries and my fears.
All that I had cherished through the years,
Lost by the demise of my declining health.
I know full well what it is to have no worldly wealth;
To fall so deep into ruins and lay prone
Praying to God at His feet of the Holy throne.
Not in my dreams but where the soul goes anon.
Dare ye not to doubt your Faith, for at Heaven's gates
Your heart is well known, do not hesitate.
For but the Grace of God who pardons me
I'd nary a hope of entering within, eternally ~
God my book of life did read and to me said
 'Tis not how much you did but how you did.
With a Christian heart you gave your all
You listened and answered my Righteous call.
Wavering here or there, I have forgotten
I have forgiven the sins of your past,
As you have opened your heart to Me at last!
Lift up your head My child and now decide
Is now your time to here within reside?"
A humbled soul quivering before our Lord ~
Held fast to the words that I'd just heard,
Complete unfinished tasks, serve my Lord with the talents
God has bestowed upon me, and for repentance
Of sins, acceptance of His Holy Spirit, and the mercy
He had for this lost soul, and for the prophecy
As He said at home my Loved ones me did await
Return home and another day you shall enter these gates.

Poems My Way ~ Valrie 08/02/2013

 

 

 "For God so Loved the world..."

 

 God knows our hearts each and everyone. When you trust in the Lord, your Faith will be rewarded, I know mine has been tremendously... praise be to God! Alleluia!

We have free will and with that privilege comes choices and their consequences. Your life is what you make of it and how you walk in life through your Faith determines your eternal soul's resting place. He of little faith, has forgotten the word of God, abide by it and you will have eternal life...

A Joyful noise I make in all that I do. I share my laughter and Love of God with all. He that knows me, knows my heart and knows whereof I have risen. Where I was weak, my Faith and Trust and Hope in the Lord has been blessed with His Love and Grace in my life. All good things come to those who wait!

May your week be filled with Blessings and Prayers giving thanks to Jesus. Remember to take time to read your scriptures and grow in strength in your Faith as you walk in God's word.
Great is His Love for us...

Linking up this weekend with Bev over at How Sweet the Sound, join in our PINK Saturday fun!

 

 

Just home from church and time to make dinner, while it is cooking

I plan to relax and catch up with my blogger friends!

 

May your week be filled with Blessings!

 

 

Blessings Among Us!

 

Last Monday 7/29/2013 is a very special day in my life and my son's Joey, and his wife Laura,

Their twins were born  at 9:30 AM.

We welcome these two bundles of love and  joy!

Milena Delia 8 lbs 6 oz 16 inches and Joseph Salvatore 7 lbs 1oz 18 inches.

At this time we are not posting any photos on social media networking of our precious darlings, but trust me they are beautiful little miracles of God!

I have been so busy with them and Joey and Laura that I have hardly had time to blog!

 

We all must trust in the Lord, let go and let God!

 

Thank you God for answered prayers! The miracle of life is the greatest of all...

 

Each newborn celebrates life and God's Love for us,

butterflies are Heaven sent and whisper in our ears...

 

 

As parents and grandparents we will strive to serve God through these miracles!

 

 

 

  "I can do all things  through Christ who strengthens me..."

And I fully intend to spoil our grandchildren!

 

 

 I never in my wildest dreams thought I could possibly  love  anyone more than I do for my Joey's and Jenni's births, having twin grandbabies at least equals if not surpasses this love.!

 

 

 

Like a beautiful garden we must also tend to the growth of our children and grandchildren.

 

May we all be blessed with the new lives God has given us and receive in them His Holy Spirit.

 

 

May your day be filled with Blessings from God and shine light upon your life!