What am I to do to regain my failing self esteem?
Everywhere I look I see such mass chaos, engrossed
In endless mazes, unfathomed, that block my path.
Freedom will ere appear in the depths of despair
Nor salvation come to one whose eyes are closed.
To what door or window do I turn for sanctuary?
Where is the shelter so needed from this storm?
Like the mad hatter I run and am always late
Forget the important dates and hide behind my fears.
The impossible dream repeats itself, a nightmare
More it seems and then becomes reality once more.
Is there no resolution near in sight or plan
To overcome the volume of my sorrows?
When will I break free these chains that bind
Me and withhold the kingdom from my grasp?
Are the riches instore for me or false hope?
Is the temple built for me to enter or are worldly
Deeds not enough to enter in I ask again,
Why am I forsaken and left alone to carry burdens?
Abandoned by the stealth of time, shorn away
Chipped and beaten down like the waves
Which crash with roaring ferocity on my beach
Names "Life Forever Dear" or do you even care?
Can you hear my voice thrown into the wind?
Are my tears unnoticed by you, lost in their deep pool
To flow endlessly amongst lost souls or will they
Cleanse those they touch and renew in me my faith?
To what do I assign my circumstance in life?
Is it choices made long ago, destiny or fate?
No I posit not, but to my own devices laid
Unmasked through mayhaps choices other made...
Those who robbed me of my joy and free spirit
Ones who violated my very being and stole my soul
Sucking the breath from my heart, soul and loins
Forever staining the purness I once mirrored.
Cynic no, trusting once, apprehensive I stumble
Through the robotics of my day and fall on knees
In prayer and self reflection, always striving to undo
The atrocities of my life and like the phoenix rise.
Yet how many times will it take, how many rises
Out of the ashes of my life to rebuild what I once had?
The answer simply put, as many as it takes
To drown or wash away, cleanse the decrepit memories...
Pity I do not want, sympathy serves no purpose
And empathy I would wish on not a soul.
Hope, faith and perseverance will get me through
All obstacles laid down, this time I'll do it my way.
Poems My Way Valrie 04/26/2010
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